Response From Senator Bennet | Free Hot Air For Your Balloon

I'm Michael Bennet, U.S. Senator

Yesterday, I made a post titled Senator Bennet | Tossing The Political Football, and discussed the political theatre he created by asking tax evading Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner what would happen if the debt ceiling were not raised. Today, his office answered. It couldn't be a personal answer because he's SO busy introducing legislation, giving meaningless speeches on the Senate floor and such.

His highlighted response, with my commentary throughout, is below.

Dear Reggie:

Thank you for contacting me regarding the national debt.  I appreciate hearing from you.

I'm an intern and could give a rats ass who you are. These form responses are so annoying, and so are you!

Our national debt, which exceeds $14 trillion, is one of the greatest challenges that our nation faces.  As the father of three young daughters, I fear that not addressing this issue soon will prevent our kids and grandkids from having the same opportunities that our generation has enjoyed. 

As the father of three young daughters, I'm thankful to have full pension and benefits suiting someone of my stature for life after serving even one term. Although I fear for your children and grandchildren, I am (ignorantly) confident my position as a U.S. Senator will insulate my own progeny from my and my colleagues moronic posturing during this 'difficult' challenge.

It is time for us to make tough decisions about entitlements, tax reform, and yearly discretionary spending.  That’s why Senator Mike Johanns of Nebraska and I, along with  62 of our Senate colleagues, sent a letter to President Obama highlighting the work of the Fiscal Commission and calling for a comprehensive solution that addresses deficit reduction.  This commonsense letter is a perfect example of the cooperative bipartisan effort that will be necessary to reduce the deficit.

It's time to make tough decisions about entitlements for the peasantry. Congress has made all kinds of impossible promises to the peasants, and some reform will happen--after the next elections. We even sent a letter--endorsed by 63 of my colleagues--to President Obama so that you peasants think we're serious! This letter is a perfect example of the meaningless drivel you've come to expect from your leadership. Oh, and it's bipartisan! I'm part of the two headed snake.

I have also joined a bipartisan group of Senators to call for a debate, before the full Senate, on the Fiscal Commission’s recommendations.  Although I did not agree with everything in the Fiscal Commission’s report, it rightfully looked across every aspect of the federal government to get our fiscal house in order.  Had I been a member of the Fiscal Commission, I would have supported sending its recommendations to Congress in order to help drive some real action on deficit reduction. 

A two-headed snake-er bipartisan debate! In front of the whole Senate! We'll get some neat soundbites on CSPAN to put on my YouTube channel. After 10 months, they'll have 50 views because I'm so freaking popular. If I'd been a member of the fiscal commission, I would have had to recuse myself for sheer stupidity.

I have also introduced legislation, called the deficit Reduction Act, which restricted our short and medium-term deficits to three percent of the gross domestic product, enforced by a sequester across the government.  I also repeatedly supported proposals to cap Congress’ year-to-year spending.

I introduced this nothingburger bill way back in 2009, but I'm acting as though it's been passed into law. Let's rephrase that into "would have restricted." I supported proposals to cap Congress' year-to-year spending, as long as they didn't have any merit. I don't actually intend to cap my spending. Sheesh! Dumb peasant.

While these are all important steps towards deficit reduction, we still need to do more.  In the coming months, it is my hope that the Senate will consider and pass a comprehensive deficit reduction plan. 

While nothing I've said above has any meaning, I intend to say more in the future. I intend to say a lot more and use a lot tougher language such as darn and shoot! In the coming months, I'm sure the Senate will consider and pass a comprehensive spending plan that will increase spending across the board while using the phrase 'deficit reduction' on each page of the 2500 page bill. We won't get a chance to read it until we pass it. Just like the healthcare bill.

I will continue to promote serious and sensible approaches to our long-term debt crisis.  I hope you will continue to inform me of your thoughts and concerns.  For more information about my priorities as a U.S. Senator, I invite you to visit my website athttp://bennet.senate.gov/.

I will continue to be Senator Michael Bennet until my term expires.

Again, thank you for writing.

Please don't bother!

Sincerely,

Michael Bennet

United States Senator (That's my title!)